One night while Andrew and I were trying to put Caden’s nursery together, I ran into a problem. We hadn’t put anything up in our house yet so I had a pile of decorative items that I knew I liked and wanted to use, but I had no idea where or how and I was getting overwhelmed. But we had to get them out of the bedroom. I expressed my frustration to Andrew and he said, “Well, why don’t you just start?” I wanted to protest but couldn’t think of anything logical or not pathetic to say, so I did. I brought the things downstairs that I thought I wanted there, took some into our room, and then just had a small pile for Caden’s room. And in just a few minutes this massive problem I had was basically taken care of.
Andrew didn’t give me any additional knowledge, skills, vision, or ability. He just got me to act on what I knew already and then to make more decisions. I had everything I needed from the start.
So, if there is something stressing you out – a school project, ministering assignment, a goal you’ve set for yourself, whatever – “Just start” by acting on the knowledge, inspiration, or hunch you have and see what happens!
I was hanging out with an expecting friend recently, and it made me think about this topic. When I was pregnant with my first child, I developed a pet peeve and it is this: asking an expecting mom questions like, “How are you feeling?” “Are you ready?” Or making comments like, “Enjoy your sleep now while you have it!”
For crying out loud! She’s not ready, probably freaking out, and do you remember how you slept at 8-9mo pregnant?!
Instead, what would be more helpful would be to ask, “Are you getting excited?” and “What can I do to help you?”
Focus on the positive and offer help in a question that she has to answer (not just “Let me know if I can do anything” because we all know that never works). Even if she says there isn’t anything you can help with, at least you gave her an easy way to ask, and didn’t freak her out with thoughts of not being prepared or resentment because she can’t sleep.
It’s an interesting thing, being a mom. I’ve had this novel for years that I’ve wanted to write, and I think I’ll end up writing it on my phone during naptime. That’s totally fine. Do I prefer a laptop? Absolutely! Will I write there as much as I can roll away after Caden falls asleep? For sure! But the important thing is that I’m finding solutions instead of making excuses. Caden slept in the stroller yesterday and I only ran 2mi so I could shower before he woke up. That’s fine. I just do what I can. There’s almost always a solution if you have the mentality to find it.